Eat Locals
2017
The Cast
Oh, dear, I had some big hopes for this flick. For starters, it's written by Danny King, who was responsible for the witty Wild Bill (worth a watch) and directed by Jason Flemyng, who I've admired as an actor since his chilling lead role in George Romero's Bruiser. I thought that if somebody could add a new take on the vampyre mythos then these could be the two to do it... I have to admit they did try... but failed miserably.
So what's so bad? It's full of great actors? It's the entire concept which bothered me. Vampire Overlords gathering together at a local farmhouse to discuss territory and quotas... so much for all-powerful beings who need to be feared. These are the most boring undead I've ever witnessed. It wouldn't have been too bad but both King and Flemyng spend too much time on this opening scene and idea. Even when things could have raised the action up a notch, like finding out one of them was taking more than their share, it's handled in a dull and tiresome way.
Then when the army arrives, under the command of the church, I began to get my hopes up. Though Flemyng does a wonderful job of filming, adding interesting camera shots and angles - he's even pretty good with the action and fight scenes, he's not too good at creating atmosphere and this only adds to the sense of tedium. When the action finally heats up we are given a new vision of vampires. Not as all-powerful but as quite weak and powerless individuals. If you're wanting gore then there's very little in the film. In fact, the most blood in this film is in the farmer's fridge... along with loads of body parts... Sounds interesting, doesn't it(?) However, the farmer is just another wasted opportunity.
Another thing that's wasted is the opportunities for comedy. The scene where Alice (Crosbie) wobbles out on a zimmer frame to take on the soldiers offers a lot of possibilities for both verbal and sight gags. However, what we get is a week killing and a cut away to another scene, only to later return to find Alice has been slain.
And this is another letdown of the film. There are too many cut-aways. I don't mind when a director uses this as a way to cut down on gore. When handled correctly this style of filmmaking forces the audience to use their imagination, which usually is better than the filmmaker can provide. However, Flemyng doesn't just cut at gore and this gives the film a disjointed feel. The above scene, I mentioned, left me feeling unsatisfied.
It's the actors that add the power and interest to the film. Even though their characters are lacking in appeal and are two-dimensional in structure they do breath a spark into them. It's just a shame that we don't get more of the Farmer, Mr Thatcher as I think Fletcher does a brilliant job with him. Eve Myles tries to Vamp it up as Vanessa but doesn't quite come across sexy enough - close though. Then you have the likes of Tony Curran as Boniface, Mackenzie Cook as Larousse, and Annette Crosbie as Alice... all of which are underused.
So what we have is a nicely directed and well acted mostly dull and boring story. The entire thing would do well with a complete overhaul. The idea is strong and sound it just needed handling better, especially with the horror and comedic elements.
I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who likes vampires or horror movies to rush out and grab a copy. Wait for it to come onto telly... and then, only if there's nothing else worth watching.
I give this a Yawn-and-Stretch of a Biteless and Bloodless 5.5 out of 10.
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