Movie Review - The Guardian

The Guardian

1990

The Cast

When Phil (Brown) and Kate (Lowell) fall pregnant after buying a new house they decide to hire a nanny for when the baby is born.  Unfortunately, their first choice is killed by a hit and run driver while she's on a bike ride.  Though, luckily for them, the agency send round a replacement.  Camilla (Seagrove) is a stunning English nanny who is only too happy to look after baby Jake... any time... all the time...  As time goes by Phil starts to feel as though there's something out of place with Camilla, who isn't above using her sexuality to get her way...  This, in turn, turns Kate's investigation mode on, only to learn some dark and chilling, hard to believe, truths about their son's guardian...

I've never been a great fan of Friedkin's work, though I have to admit he has a magnificent eye for composition and iconic shots (the only thing which kept me awake through the yawn-fest that was The Exorcist - oh controversial).  In this film, he has extended his eye for composition into entire scene's and employed some effective lighting techniques, especially in the night time forest sequences.  This actually brings it out of the horror genre and into dark fantasy, which seems to fit the story and direction much better.  There is a lack of tension, suspense, and fear which are required to make a good horror film.  Even the gruesome effects are shot in such a way that they aren't exactly horrific or fear-inducing.  They are good and well done.  though Friedkin opts to quickly snap between the gore shots.  He even adds strange angles to them, which adds more to the fantasy genre and detracts from the horror.

This is a tale of old mythologies and tells of evil tree spirits who like nothing better than to eat the souls of newborns.  This could easily have been another run of the mill horror flick of the time but it is something more.  I just wish that Camilla's drive and reasoning behind her actions had been explained more.  This could only have made her character stronger and darker.  However,  Seagrove adds a nice sensuality and slyness to her... if this woman were an animal she would be the snake that tempted Adam and Eve.  Unfortunately, the rest of the cast is pretty average, especially the two lead characters, who are verging on two-dimensional stereotypicalness.  Even Miguel Ferrer, who I've always rated as a "one-to-watch" actor, appears underused and a tad flat.  Only Brad Hall as Ned Runcie comes across as a more rounded character.  This may be because his character has lots to do in the story; he's built the house they live in; he becomes their friend; he has a romantic interest in Camilla; he's the first to realise there's something not-quite-right with Camilla.  This gives him more depth and scope than the rest of the characters in the story.

The special effects are still viable today, the killings of the gang members, though filmed in a strange manner, is well done and looks realistic - given the circumstances.  Even the tree bark images and figures are chilling to see and reasonably lifelike, adding to the strength of the fantasy elements.

This doesn't work as a horror, though, if you're a fantasy fan and you prefer them with a darker edge then this will probably be up your street.  It's at least worth one viewing... but I'd wait until you've not got anything interesting to watch.

I give this Naughty Killer Nymphette a Sacrificial 6.25 out of 10.

The Trailer

Movie Review - Eat Locals

Eat Locals

2017

The Cast

Oh, dear, I had some big hopes for this flick.  For starters, it's written by Danny King, who was responsible for the witty Wild Bill (worth a watch) and directed by Jason Flemyng, who I've admired as an actor since his chilling lead role in George Romero's Bruiser.  I thought that if somebody could add a new take on the vampyre mythos then these could be the two to do it...  I have to admit they did try... but failed miserably.

So what's so bad?  It's full of great actors?  It's the entire concept which bothered me.  Vampire Overlords gathering together at a local farmhouse to discuss territory and quotas... so much for all-powerful beings who need to be feared.  These are the most boring undead I've ever witnessed.  It wouldn't have been too bad but both King and Flemyng spend too much time on this opening scene and idea.  Even when things could have raised the action up a notch, like finding out one of them was taking more than their share, it's handled in a dull and tiresome way.

Then when the army arrives, under the command of the church, I began to get my hopes up.  Though Flemyng does a wonderful job of filming, adding interesting camera shots and angles - he's even pretty good with the action and fight scenes, he's not too good at creating atmosphere and this only adds to the sense of tedium.  When the action finally heats up we are given a new vision of vampires.  Not as all-powerful but as quite weak and powerless individuals.  If you're wanting gore then there's very little in the film.  In fact, the most blood in this film is in the farmer's fridge... along with loads of body parts...  Sounds interesting, doesn't it(?)  However, the farmer is just another wasted opportunity.

Another thing that's wasted is the opportunities for comedy.  The scene where Alice (Crosbie) wobbles out on a zimmer frame to take on the soldiers offers a lot of possibilities for both verbal and sight gags.  However, what we get is a week killing and a cut away to another scene, only to later return to find Alice has been slain.

And this is another letdown of the film.  There are too many cut-aways.  I don't mind when a director uses this as a way to cut down on gore.  When handled correctly this style of filmmaking forces the audience to use their imagination, which usually is better than the filmmaker can provide.  However, Flemyng doesn't just cut at gore and this gives the film a disjointed feel.  The above scene, I mentioned, left me feeling unsatisfied.

It's the actors that add the power and interest to the film.  Even though their characters are lacking in appeal and are two-dimensional in structure they do breath a spark into them.  It's just a shame that we don't get more of the Farmer, Mr Thatcher as I think Fletcher does a brilliant job with him.  Eve Myles tries to Vamp it up as Vanessa but doesn't quite come across sexy enough - close though.  Then you have the likes of Tony Curran as Boniface, Mackenzie Cook as Larousse, and Annette Crosbie as Alice... all of which are underused.

So what we have is a nicely directed and well acted mostly dull and boring story.  The entire thing would do well with a complete overhaul.  The idea is strong and sound it just needed handling better, especially with the horror and comedic elements.

I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who likes vampires or horror movies to rush out and grab a copy.  Wait for it to come onto telly... and then, only if there's nothing else worth watching.

I give this a Yawn-and-Stretch of a Biteless and Bloodless 5.5 out of 10.

The Trailer